I went to the grocery store late Thursday night after callback auditions for Chamber Choir to buy a few final items for a dinner party I hosted Friday. Having only a few items in my basket, I decided to use the self-checkout.
As I was waiting for a register to open up, a little boy came up to me and asked me for money to buy some cupcakes. As I am usually averse to giving people money on the street, and as I needed every ounce of cash I had on me, I told him I didn't have anything to give him. When I turned around, I noticed another boy, somewhat older than the first, but still a kid, had gone up to the register to my immediate left. Thinking he was with the girl currently occupying that register, I didn't say anything. I realized quickly that they weren't together, and got a little annoyed at having let this person jump me in line.
Maybe a minute later, the next register opened up. However, before I could move my cart to it, another kid walked up to it, actually walking around my cart. I was tempted to get in front of the kid and let him know that he had jumped me in line -- a fact of which I am sure he was well aware -- and reclaim my proper place at the register. Instead, however, I just walked to the next self-checkout lane and found an available register.
As I was scanning my purchases, I saw that all three of these kids -- the one who asked me for money, and the two who jumped me in line -- were together. I thought to myself at first, these kids are probably hungry, and probably lack any sort of significant parental supervision to be out this late at the grocery store asking folks for money to buy cupcakes. So what they jumped me in line?
But then a more sobering realization came to me. I believe at least part of the reason that I didn't confront either of these kids is because they happened to be African-American, and I allowed that to intimidate me. Essentially, I expected less from these kids because of their race.
Now, don't get me wrong. I normally avoid confrontation, because rarely do I get any satisfaction from taking on people exhibiting rude behavior in public. And despite what many who know me might think, I don't enjoy acting like everyone's mother. But I have a bad suspicion that had these kids been white, and certainly had they been white females, I would have said something to them.
I don't pretend that I don't have any racist tendencies. It's hard to grow up in this society and not learn prejudices against those who are of a different race. But I think I usually do a pretty good job quelling any racist thoughts or ideas I have. I recognize that as a caucasian person of the male persuasion I am afforded a good number of advantages not offered to others because of their race or gender. As an out gay man I do have some understanding of prejudice, but I must admit I rarely encounter discrimination on a personal level.
It bothers me, though, when I allow my own prejudice to bubble to the surface like that. And I don't really believe that these kids being rude had anything to do with their race, other than contributing to what I perceived as their disadvantaged status. The question becomes, what can I learn from this experience, and what can I do better to cope with my own biases?
I guess the first thing to do is to give up and just be everyone's mother. So stop slouching! And did you finish your homework yet? No? Then stop reading this blog right this minute and go do it!
I said now!
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Dubious Honor
I recently received a phone message from Jackie Davidson on behalf of Congressman Tom Reynolds, chair of the National Republican Congressional Committee. Apparently, they had selected moi to receive their National Leadership Award, and needed to speak to me right away concerning a press release they wanted to send out, no doubt to let the local community know about my prestigious award.
Curiosity got the best of me, and I had to give them a call.
When I called them this morning, I didn't speak to Jackie, but instead conversed with one of her colleagues. Before giving my name, I asked the representative how the organization got the information to decide who should receive these "awards." I wondered whether they got my name off the ACLU membership list, or the HRC membership roll.
The representative told me that she couldn't tell me how I was selected for the award without learning my name, so I reluctantly gave it to her. (They knew it anyway; they'd said my full name on the answering machine message.) When I told the representative my name, she sprang to life, feigning recognition ("Oh, yes, hi!" was her response -- apparently the list of finalists is short indeed). She let me know that business leaders in Illinois had been selected based on their contributions to the local economy.
Apparently, my shopping habits have gotten me into trouble again.
She went on to tell me that the organization was hoping I would attend the next presidential dinner when Bushie next comes to the area, and started to play me a message from Congressman Reynolds himself. At this point, my rational mind took the reins away from my curious mind and cut the representative short. I informed her that I had never voted for a Republican candidate (I know you're shocked) and likely never would. Without animus I asked her to remove my phone number from her records. She cheerfully agreed to do so, and thanked me for calling in so that they could better decide what to do next. (Umm, that would be never call me again in hopes of getting my support for the Republican Beast.)
I'm guessing my status as an important businessman has something to do with the WHOIS registry for my website. I get all kinds of crap for health insurance, business credit cards, etc. I guess marketers are desperate enough for business that they'll send out crap to anyone with the $10 (or less) required to register a domain name. The Republican party, given the latest poll numbers, must be equally desperate.
Curiosity got the best of me, and I had to give them a call.
When I called them this morning, I didn't speak to Jackie, but instead conversed with one of her colleagues. Before giving my name, I asked the representative how the organization got the information to decide who should receive these "awards." I wondered whether they got my name off the ACLU membership list, or the HRC membership roll.
The representative told me that she couldn't tell me how I was selected for the award without learning my name, so I reluctantly gave it to her. (They knew it anyway; they'd said my full name on the answering machine message.) When I told the representative my name, she sprang to life, feigning recognition ("Oh, yes, hi!" was her response -- apparently the list of finalists is short indeed). She let me know that business leaders in Illinois had been selected based on their contributions to the local economy.
Apparently, my shopping habits have gotten me into trouble again.
She went on to tell me that the organization was hoping I would attend the next presidential dinner when Bushie next comes to the area, and started to play me a message from Congressman Reynolds himself. At this point, my rational mind took the reins away from my curious mind and cut the representative short. I informed her that I had never voted for a Republican candidate (I know you're shocked) and likely never would. Without animus I asked her to remove my phone number from her records. She cheerfully agreed to do so, and thanked me for calling in so that they could better decide what to do next. (Umm, that would be never call me again in hopes of getting my support for the Republican Beast.)
I'm guessing my status as an important businessman has something to do with the WHOIS registry for my website. I get all kinds of crap for health insurance, business credit cards, etc. I guess marketers are desperate enough for business that they'll send out crap to anyone with the $10 (or less) required to register a domain name. The Republican party, given the latest poll numbers, must be equally desperate.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Parting Thoughts on the Gay Games
The Seventh Gay Games wrapped up this past Saturday. My buddy Matt got tickets for the closing ceremonies and called me late that morning to see if I wanted to go with him, so we took the train up to Wrigley Field on Saturday afternoon to watch the spectacle. It's a delicious irony that I had worn my White Sox T-shirt to work that morning, and thus got to wear it to Wrigley Field for my first visit to that heralded baseball park.
The closing ceremonies started late -- it largely was run with, for and by gay men, after all -- but the wait was worth the payoff. I felt a little old because the only musical act of whom I had ever heard was Cyndi Lauper, who sang (duh) "True Colors". Among the many performers I didn't know was the duo Jason and deMarco. Their performance was very nice, although for the life of me I couldn't tell if the blonde (whom I know now is Jason) was a gay man or a lesbian -- fault my distance from the stage and Jason's really high singing voice.
There was a fun performance by Chicago's ROTC -- Righteously Outrageous Twirling Corps. If, like me, you've never seen them before, think about the "camp" soldiers skit from Monty Python and you'd be pretty close. The other very enjoyable performance came from the DC Cowboys. These boys are just delicious, and did a lovely sendup of Brokeback Mountain (it was not nearly so tired as it sounds).
I must admit that I was a bit disdainful about the Gay Games, figuring that they were as much about socialization as about athletic endeavor. However, in meeting a few of the athletes and visitors in town for the festivities, and having attended the closing ceremony, I find that I've changed my mind. Now I regret that I didn't attend any of the games, even though some events were hosted at the Ratner Center at the U of C.
The Gay Games were, I believe, a boon for Chicago. Hearing Mayor Daley speak so graciously and movingly about this city's gay and lesbian population, and about how this city welcomes its gay and lesbian citizens and visitors, was quite profound.
And besides, the locker room at the Ratner Center has never smelled better.
The closing ceremonies started late -- it largely was run with, for and by gay men, after all -- but the wait was worth the payoff. I felt a little old because the only musical act of whom I had ever heard was Cyndi Lauper, who sang (duh) "True Colors". Among the many performers I didn't know was the duo Jason and deMarco. Their performance was very nice, although for the life of me I couldn't tell if the blonde (whom I know now is Jason) was a gay man or a lesbian -- fault my distance from the stage and Jason's really high singing voice.
There was a fun performance by Chicago's ROTC -- Righteously Outrageous Twirling Corps. If, like me, you've never seen them before, think about the "camp" soldiers skit from Monty Python and you'd be pretty close. The other very enjoyable performance came from the DC Cowboys. These boys are just delicious, and did a lovely sendup of Brokeback Mountain (it was not nearly so tired as it sounds).
I must admit that I was a bit disdainful about the Gay Games, figuring that they were as much about socialization as about athletic endeavor. However, in meeting a few of the athletes and visitors in town for the festivities, and having attended the closing ceremony, I find that I've changed my mind. Now I regret that I didn't attend any of the games, even though some events were hosted at the Ratner Center at the U of C.
The Gay Games were, I believe, a boon for Chicago. Hearing Mayor Daley speak so graciously and movingly about this city's gay and lesbian population, and about how this city welcomes its gay and lesbian citizens and visitors, was quite profound.
And besides, the locker room at the Ratner Center has never smelled better.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Mulan
I had problems with my UPS (not the package delivery service, rather the device which assures continuous, uninterrupted power to my computer) which required me to unplug all non-essential peripherals. Sadly, this list included my wireless router. Because surge-protected outlets provide less protection than battery-backup outlets, I tried to avoid using my desktop for extended periods of time, such as would be required for blog entries.
I've had a lot I've wanted to write about, since there have been such nasty things going on in the world. Given that I have only limited time right now -- specifically, 10 minutes while I'm waiting for a centrifuge to spin down a DNA pellet -- I'm going to skip all the important stuff and give a brief shout-out to a new bistro in my 'hood.
The BF and I went to Mulan last week. Located on the upper level of the East Gate, part of the Chinatown Square shopping complex, Mulan is a swanky Asian/French fusion restaurant that focuses on reinventing and uplifting the concept of "surf and turf." All of their dishes pair a land animal or waterfowl with a complementary seafood, in most cases shellfish.
The BF and I started our meal with a cup of the tomato and Kobe beef broth soup that contained mushrooms and circular pieces of whitefish. It was flavorful, though a bit acidic for my taste. This was followed by grilled elk with lightly fried, delicately breaded scallops and deep-fried lotus root with a carrot-miso sauce. I thought the elk was flavorful, though the meat was a bit tougher than I would like. This may be particular to the animal; my only other experience with game meat was a delicious, tender venison I had at Erwin - An American Cafe in Lakeview a few weeks ago. The elk paired well with the sweet scallops, and the carrot-miso sauce was fresh but not overpowering. The BF had lamb chops served with a shrimp bun. The chops were tasty and prepared medium per his specification. We finished our meal by splitting a piece of flourless chocolate cake which was tasty but not especially noteworthy.
In a nutshell, the entrees were fantastic; the soup okay and the dessert good but not great. The service was attentive and knowledgeable. Entrees ranged from $19 to about $32. Mulan is BYOB; I don't know if they charge a corkage fee or not.
The next time you find yourself in Chinatown or the South Loop and you're looking for something a little different to try, I highly encourage you to check out Mulan!
I've had a lot I've wanted to write about, since there have been such nasty things going on in the world. Given that I have only limited time right now -- specifically, 10 minutes while I'm waiting for a centrifuge to spin down a DNA pellet -- I'm going to skip all the important stuff and give a brief shout-out to a new bistro in my 'hood.
The BF and I went to Mulan last week. Located on the upper level of the East Gate, part of the Chinatown Square shopping complex, Mulan is a swanky Asian/French fusion restaurant that focuses on reinventing and uplifting the concept of "surf and turf." All of their dishes pair a land animal or waterfowl with a complementary seafood, in most cases shellfish.
The BF and I started our meal with a cup of the tomato and Kobe beef broth soup that contained mushrooms and circular pieces of whitefish. It was flavorful, though a bit acidic for my taste. This was followed by grilled elk with lightly fried, delicately breaded scallops and deep-fried lotus root with a carrot-miso sauce. I thought the elk was flavorful, though the meat was a bit tougher than I would like. This may be particular to the animal; my only other experience with game meat was a delicious, tender venison I had at Erwin - An American Cafe in Lakeview a few weeks ago. The elk paired well with the sweet scallops, and the carrot-miso sauce was fresh but not overpowering. The BF had lamb chops served with a shrimp bun. The chops were tasty and prepared medium per his specification. We finished our meal by splitting a piece of flourless chocolate cake which was tasty but not especially noteworthy.
In a nutshell, the entrees were fantastic; the soup okay and the dessert good but not great. The service was attentive and knowledgeable. Entrees ranged from $19 to about $32. Mulan is BYOB; I don't know if they charge a corkage fee or not.
The next time you find yourself in Chinatown or the South Loop and you're looking for something a little different to try, I highly encourage you to check out Mulan!
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Challenges
I love God, because She is so deliciously sneaky.
I was listening to Morning Edition on NPR a couple of weeks ago, as I do most mornings while getting ready for work. On the previous day, in a state of mental and emotional fatigue I had thought it best to give up the fight to keep the Episcopal Church in the Anglican Communion. As I was stepping into the shower, I heard the Morning Edition anchor introduce an interview with Jerry Falwell. Great, I thought, just what I need to hear -- an interview with perhaps the most repulsive Christian minister I know.
As part of the story, NPR interviewed Mel White, the founder of Soulforce. Mel White was a confidant of Jerry Falwell's, and the ghostwriter of Falwell's autobiography. Mel White eventually came out as a gay man and founded Soulforce to work for the full inclusion of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons in the Christian church. When not leading spiritual protests around the country, he lives in Lynchburg and regularly attends services at the Thomas Road Baptist Church, which Falwell founded and still leads.
Whenever the sermon/rhetoric turns homophobic, Mel White stands up in silent protest of the denigration heaped upon his GLBT brothers and sisters.
When I thought about Mel White, I realized I was being a great big wuss.
The whole GLBT issue isn't going away because the GLBT community in the Episcopal Church isn't going away. I have to remember that God has a plan -- undoubtedly part of His plan was my hearing that interview. Wrangling with the global Anglican Communion is also part of that plan. In all of this brouhaha, it is important to remember that the ultimate goal is not -- and must never be -- the unity of the Anglican Communion. Instead the ultimate goal must always be proclaiming the gospel and pursuing justice for all of God's people.
I was listening to Morning Edition on NPR a couple of weeks ago, as I do most mornings while getting ready for work. On the previous day, in a state of mental and emotional fatigue I had thought it best to give up the fight to keep the Episcopal Church in the Anglican Communion. As I was stepping into the shower, I heard the Morning Edition anchor introduce an interview with Jerry Falwell. Great, I thought, just what I need to hear -- an interview with perhaps the most repulsive Christian minister I know.
As part of the story, NPR interviewed Mel White, the founder of Soulforce. Mel White was a confidant of Jerry Falwell's, and the ghostwriter of Falwell's autobiography. Mel White eventually came out as a gay man and founded Soulforce to work for the full inclusion of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons in the Christian church. When not leading spiritual protests around the country, he lives in Lynchburg and regularly attends services at the Thomas Road Baptist Church, which Falwell founded and still leads.
Whenever the sermon/rhetoric turns homophobic, Mel White stands up in silent protest of the denigration heaped upon his GLBT brothers and sisters.
When I thought about Mel White, I realized I was being a great big wuss.
The whole GLBT issue isn't going away because the GLBT community in the Episcopal Church isn't going away. I have to remember that God has a plan -- undoubtedly part of His plan was my hearing that interview. Wrangling with the global Anglican Communion is also part of that plan. In all of this brouhaha, it is important to remember that the ultimate goal is not -- and must never be -- the unity of the Anglican Communion. Instead the ultimate goal must always be proclaiming the gospel and pursuing justice for all of God's people.
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