Singing

If I'm going to be completely honest, I must admit that I've been a bit in a funk for the past couple of weeks. I wouldn't say I was depressed; I've been depressed and it's a lot uglier than what I've been experiencing of late.

Today, as I was finishing up at work, I was listening to my iPod, like I often do when I'm alone in the lab. Lately I've been playing recordings of music for the Chicago Chamber Choir fall concerts coming up next month. Some songs I've been playing to help with memorization or to become more confident with notes; others have been looping because they've fit my mood or my craving for rich, delicious, velvety harmony. When others haven't been around, I've been singing along with my iPod, primarily to improve my muscle memory and pitch. This is nothing unusual for me when learning new music. In the past few years, my life has become so busy that I often resort to learning music from recordings, something I used to abhor doing.

About 15 minutes before I left the lab this evening, as I was wrapping things up and writing up my day's work, I took off my iPod so that I could put it away. Oddly, I felt like continuing to sing, and I did. And I wasn't singing music to learn it; I was singing music to enjoy the act of singing. To my amazement, I was even singing music out loud, sotto voce, mind you, but still audible to the couple of people who were still around.

I believe that this signaled the end of my funk. And it couldn't have come a minute too soon.

Too much is going too well in my life for the "other things" in my life to put me into a funk. In times like these, when I feel I'm juggling about as many things as I possibly can, it should be the easiest call in the world to put the "other things" into God's hands. I have faith that all the "other things" will fall into place, but it's hard for me to live into that faith. I cannot know what will happen tomorrow, but part of faith is believing that tomorrow will be better than today.

Whatever happens tomorrow, I just hope I'll still be singing.