I just love listening to cheesy Christmas music this time of year. While I enjoy the classics -- The Christmas Song, Sleigh Ride, The 12 Things at Christmas That Are Such a Pain to Me -- I must admit that some of the new "standards" leave me cold.
For instance, I fail to understand why Air Supply or the Beach Boys ever recorded Christmas albums.
And Anne Murray? Whenever she sings Christmas songs, she makes them sound depressing. Honestly, she could probably make "Climb Ev'ry Mountain" sound depressing.
And, George Michael, I don't care that you gave your heart away last Christmas. Maybe you shouldn't have given it away to an undercover police officer in a public restroom. Oh, wait, that wasn't your heart, was it . . .
As most Christmas songs don't call for clarinet or saxophone soli, I think Kenny G. should be banned from recording Christmas music.
And, finally, as much as I love The Pretenders, they have no business recording Christmas music. Chrissie Hynde is a lovely girl, but she needs a lot of studio help, and can't sing without bending pitch. This vocal technique may work on Brass in Pocket, but doesn't do so well on Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.
There are 13 shopping days left until Christmas, so I have about two more weeks to enjoy the mellifluous strains of holiday song floating over the airwaves.
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